This video was both fun and challenging to make. I enjoy creating media like this, so I likely would have produced an introduction video anyway, even without the agency requirement. My issue became apparent when I decided to download all of the videos that I might use. Click after click, I audibly celebrated each video as I rediscovered them – “aw!” and “definitely this one!” Hours later, I’d downloaded well over 200 video clips that totaled 3 hours of video footage. Ut oh. I’m not sure how a birth parent would feel about sifting through 3 hours of footage just to get a glimpse of “our vibe.” 

After admitting to myself that I was completely overwhelmed and fussy, I embarked on my first side quest – sort the videos. One by one, I watched each video and sorted them into folders. I simultaneously recorded notes in my notebook. (I know, old school!) I’d document if the video made me laugh or cry. I took note of who was in each video to make sure I included everyone. At one point, I got all detailed and wrote notes like “shows Jared playing Mickey with toddler” or “dogs howl and make baby laugh.” By the end, I was tired, so my notes were abbreviated to “meh” and “yup.”

After creating my “yup” folder, I still found myself burdened by 2 hours of footage, and the agency suggested that we narrow our video down to one minute. The part of my brain that attained a bachelor’s in communication understood this concept (short attention spans, lots of parent profiles…), but my emotions were frazzled by the limitation. How am I supposed to prove that I’d be a good parent in one minute?!

I was particularly sentimental and defensive of the videos where Jared, mom, and I were spending time with our foster children. I wanted so desperately to include all of them in our video. Every child mattered. Every experience mattered. Sadly, I had to consider the fact that the majority of our foster children are still in the system. Hence, we’re bound by a contract where we can’t show their faces. Not to mention, we want to give them and their families privacy. So, I embarked on my second side quest – “how do I blur faces in premiere video pro?”

Several dozen videos later, I managed to blur the faces of all of our foster children in the videos in my “yup” folder. It was actually super easy. This is the video I used to learn about blurring.

Now that I’d narrowed down my pool of videos to a slightly smaller pool of candidates, I felt pressured to choose “the right” videos. They had to show proof of each of us being amazing parents. These videos had to portray our overall “happy vibe.” They needed to show our home and neighborhood, and they needed to display our contact info at the end. Right? Simple. No! Not simple! Enter side quest number 3 – stalking other adoptive videos.

Wow. Some parents filmed their video on, what I can only describe as, a 1996 video cassette camera. The window behind them cast a terrible shadow and I could barely hear their voices. If I could hear their voices, they mostly talked about their cat, Fluffy. This immediately boosted my confidence. We’ll be chosen for sure! The next video showed the prospective adoptive mom jumping out of a plane. Then, the video cut to her husband who just finished a tree house from scratch on his lunch break. (cue panic attack) I didn’t have any cat, skydiving, or carpentry videos.

Even foster parent videos who occasionally make foster-to-adopt profiles were intimidating: “Hi. I’m Mary. This is my husband John, and these are our 14 children. This is our farm. We follow Christ, and we also follow you back. So, follow, like, and subscribe.”

Do any normal people apply for adoption? I vented. Is it possible that we’re somewhere in between? We love to travel and go places with the kiddos, but I don’t exactly have a picture of me riding a tiger. And while we’ve cared for 11 children over time, we certainly don’t have the capacity or desire to adopt a sibling group of 10. Darn, will anyone even notice us?

After diving in deeper, I found lots of successful adoptive parents whose videos were similar to something I’d make and closer to the videos I had. They showed family vacations, birthday parties, laughing after spraying whip cream backwards, dogs playing, lots of cuddles, school projects, painting the nursery, kids getting messy, and… normalcy.

My initial conspiracy theory that I had to provide video footage of our foster children eating three square meals per day and attending all doctor appointments is not what birth families want to see. They want to see your day to day. They want to see love. They want to see you.

Let me know if we nailed it. And if we did, please share.